Hidden Secrets
by idareyoutobiteme
Summary: Rose and Dimitri have everything they dreamed of, and are excited about their future. It seems to good to be true, and as the past comes back to haunt them, they are pushed to their limits... but can their love survive?
1. The After Party

**-Straight after last sacrifice-**

The ceremony was absolutely beautiful; it was definitely the proudest, happiest moment of my life (so far.) My heart was still beating at one hundred miles per hour, and I barely took my eyes of Lissa, except to sneak the occasional peek at Dimitri. The atmosphere was amazing, everyone seemed to feel the joy and hope that the ceremony bought. Even the royals who had been outraged at the thought of Lissa being queen had settled down, and joined in with the celebrations.

Queen Vasilisa Sabina Rhea Dragomir. I would never ever call her that though, she would always be Lissa to me, no matter if she was a freakin' goddess. I thought about calling Christian 'Lord Ozera' and smirked at the name, oh he's going to love that new title, I thought devilishly.

I was excited for the after party, but something was nagging at the back of mind. This was all so… weird. I never thought I would have seen Lissa, the Queen of the Moroi. But here we were… and it hit me then that everything was going to be different, my whole world was going to change. I was a guardian now, and an infamous one at that. I was pretty sure almost all the Moroi and Dhampirs in the world knew my name, knew Rosemarie Hathaway's story. So much had happened, and I was only 17. That scared me. I had been through so much, and yet I knew there was so much more to come. Although, I think I had enough experience to deal with any situation, and come out alive. I have literally stared my death in the face hundreds of times, and still, here I am. Surviving. I had thought that everything was going to get easier now, I had Dimitri, I was Lissa's guardian, I had both of my parents in my life, (no matter how much It grossed me out to see the old man flirting with my mother.) The future seemed bright. Too bright. Shadows would always touch my life, and I would always have a connection to death.

Dimitri had obviously seen the wheels working in my head, and as I met his eyes, I was pretty sure his thoughts were along the same line.

"What are you thinking about?" he leant over and whispered in my ear. Jesus, he was gorgeous. Like out of this planet gorgeous.

"Everything's going to change now isn't it?" I murmured back to him. Pulling me into a warm hug he pushed back a stray piece of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail and looked deep into my eyes.

"Oh Roza, it started changing from the minute I found you and Lissa back in Portland. Everything we've been through together, do you honestly think there is anything we couldn't get through? We survived all this madness." My breath caught in my chest, as he repeated my thoughts. If ever there were two people that were really meant to be together, no matter what, it was Dimitri, and me. That's how it always would be.

"Damn, I love you so much Dimitri Belikov." I pulled his chin down so his lips were level with mine, and I kissed him tenderly, his lips were so soft, and his kiss was filled with so much love. I could spend eternity kissing those lips, and I knew the feelings were mutual.

Lost in the kiss, I barely heard I deep cough from behind me, and I slowly pulled away. Christian stood with his arms gently around Lissa's waist, and at that moment, they really did look like King and Queen. Both of their expressions showed nothing but elation, pride, love and affection. Laughing Christian turned and spoke softly to Lissa, just loud enough for Dimitri and me to hear.

"If they're going to be like this all the time, we are screwed." We all chuckled at that, and I went over and gave Lissa a tight best friend hug.

"I am so proud of you Liss! Ready to kick some royal ass and show the world what we're capable of?" The intense feelings I just had were gone, and I was back to my usual witty self.

"Totally, but I think we should go to the after party first eh?"

Well how could I say no to a party, which would surely go down as one of the best in Moroi history. My body tingled and I was eager to get the show on the road.

"Well what are we waiting for, lets go and PAR-TAY!" Everyone rolled their eyes, as we started walking out of the throne room.

"You do realise, you are the main Guardian of a Queen. You wont be able to drink." Christian's lips curled into a sarcastic smile.

"I am perfectly capable of having a great time without booze. We'll make our own fun, aint that right Dimitri?" I said winking at him.

He tilted his head up and sighed, "Oh Lord, give me strength." But I could see the obvious amusement on his face.

"I feel sorry for you, she's wild. You're crazy. How can you stand her for more thank twenty seconds without getting frustrated? " Christian laughed.

" I've been asking myself that from the first day I met her. I'll probably be asking myself that till the day I die, I don't think I'll ever know." He replied with a smile in his voice.

I chose to ignore that comment, and let Lissa and Christian walk in front. Tonight was going to be a good night, the last night I could let loose. And then tomorrow morning and the rest of my life, it was all work and no play. (Well maybe some play, but yeah, you get my point.) _They come first._ The guardian mantra was always there in my head, and even now when I was laughing and joking with everyone, I was still careful to watch Lissa, and make sure she was perfectly safe. That was how it had always been, and I would gladly sacrifice my own life if it meant saving Lissa. She was the sister I never had.

I linked my arms through Dimtri's, and pulled my hair band out, letting my hair fall on to my shoulders in thick dark waves. This caught Dimitri's eye, and I saw lust as well as love. Yes, tonight would be one to remember. Grinning, I asked, "So comrade, are you up for a boogie?"

Moroi and Dhampirs may be unholy evil creatures of the night (as Sydney would say), but man, we know how to party. The party was held in a huge hall with huge, ancient windows and expensive chandeliers. At first the traditional ballroom dances took place, Lissa and Christian went first. Seeing Christian dance was one of the most hilarious things ever, you could see how uncomfortable he was, and he looked like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world, but somehow, he managed to pull it off with out even a stumble, and obviously Lissa danced flawlessly. There were lots of 'oohs' and 'aaws' and pictures taken. Dimitri and me even had a dance, but he put me to shame. "How do you manage to be good at everything?" I had asked him with a frown on my face.

The traditional dances only lasted for around an hour, after that, the fun began. At about ten o clock, the older Moroi started to clear out, and some of the younger ones started to fill in. At half past ten, the heavy beat of music kicked in, and alcohol started to be served. I tried to convince Dimitri to come and let loose with me, but he insisted on watching over Christian for a while. Leaving him be, I took to the dance floor alone.

I swayed my hips to the rhythm, and I was aware of a few wistful eyes watching my every move. I mingled with people, talking to some who I had never even heard of, but of course, they had all heard of me. Ariana Szelsky even came over and asked how I was doing. Ariana was gorgeous, with straight, shoulder-length auburn hair, and perfect olive skin. She was popular and political… she was also a favourite to become queen before she had, much to many people dismay, failed the final test. Before I had had learned about Jill, everyone thought it would be impossible for Lissa to be queen, so I was rooting for Ariana to win.

"How are you Rose?" she shouted over the music.

"Yeah, everything's great! What about you, are you okay?" I didn't mention anything about her failure to become queen, but I think she knew what I was getting at.

"Yes, I'm rather well. Obviously disappointed, but I cannot think of a person better fit to the throne. Lissa has a bright future. Will you let her know, that should she ever need any help or guidance, she knows where I am?"

"Y-yes, of course Lady Szelsky. I'm sure she will appreciate it."

I started to say that I appreciated it as well, but she was already gone.

The night carried on, and I convinced Dimitri to have a couple of dances with me. God, he was even more gorgeous when he was spinning me around and twisting his hips. We danced late into the night, until eventually, people started to make there way out, and there only remained about ten couples on the dance floor. The music slowed down, and everything became magical.

The smoke machines filled the floor with an eerie mist, and I looked around to see who was around me. Lissa and Christian circled around the dance floor, but this dance didn't look forced like the earlier one, it was much more raw and tender; Christian actually looked like he was enjoying himself. I was surprised to see Eddie and Mia holding each other, seeming completely oblivious to everyone else. Thinking about it though, they were perfect together. They were both eager and strong-willed, and both fiercely loyal.

Unfortunately, two of the remaining dancers were Janine Hathaway and Abe Mazur… my legendary parents. I never thought I'd see the old man dancing, but as much as I would deny it, my parents had a lot of chemistry and history, a bond that would probably always be there. I thought about how much my relationship with my parents had improved in the past year, and smiled to myself.

I had no idea what time it was, but I didn't want the night to end. I rested my head on Dimitri's chest, and I could hear the gently thud of his heart. His hand was placed on my waist, and his touch made me feel safe. His dark brown eyes connected with mine, and it was if we sent telepathic messages through our heads. That moment was so perfect: Dimitri holding me, staring lovingly into my eyes, dancing slowly together, like a fairytale. And just for that moment, I felt that everything would truly be ok.

_**Hey guys! So this is my first fan fiction, I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter. I have some idea's to what's going to happen in the story, but I want to know if I should carry it on, or leave it?**_

_**Anyway, thanks for reading, and reviews would be greatly appreciated!**_

_**(P.S- I apologise if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes.)**_


	2. First Day of Court Life

"Lissa, shhh, calm down, it's ok. Everything will be ok, I'm here Liss. Don't cry, please don't cry." My arms wrapped firmly around Lissa, cradling her like a broken baby. My own voice was thick with tears, and I felt all numb inside. She kept crying and crying, there was nothing I could do to stop it. I hated this feeling of helplessness, an uncomfortable lump of sadness wedged in my throat. Her body shook, it was as if I could literally feel her crumbling to pieces in my hand.

"Rose" she pleaded. "Please, help me!"

"I-I, I can't!" I sobbed.

"Rose, Rose, Rose" she repeated on and on and on. But then the word changed ever so slightly, and Lissa's sweet, grief-stricken voice turned into a deep Russian accent.

"Roza! Wake up! Roza baby, what's wrong? Calm down!"

My eyes snapped open, and I looked around into the familiar room. Dimitri was leaning right over me, looking seriously panicked. I felt weird and disoriented, like I should be somewhere else. My face was covered in hot sticky tears… why was I crying. Lissa. Lissa needed me.

I sat up so sharply, it made Dimitri gasp and jump back in alarm.

"Lissa! I need to get to Lissa! Right now!" I shouted.

Approaching me slowly, as if I was some kind of wild animal, he placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back down onto the bed. My body was frozen, and I was so bloody confused. I was just with Lissa, wasn't I? Except, I wasn't… I was right here, in Dimitri's room.

"Roza, what's wrong with Lissa?" he whispered, pushing a sweaty strand of hair behind my ear.

"I was with her, she was crying! She was s-so depressed, a-and I couldn't to anything about it!" I choked out.

He pulled me into his arms, rocking me gently.

"Shhh, it was just a dream. You don't have the bond anymore remember? It's gone for good. So it was just a bad dream Rose, a real bad dream." I nodded into his chest, and clung to him tightly.

Just to be sure, I reached out to Lissa like I used to… but the bond was definitely gone. What the hell was that? I never had bad dreams, the only bad dreams I'd ever had was when I experienced Lissa's nightmares through the bond.

I'm not so sure how long I lay in Dimitri's arms, but I didn't get a wink of sleep after that. The light was just starting to stream through the blinds, so I pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater, and decided to take a walk.

Court was almost empty, except for the guardians patrolling around on errands. My whole body ached from weeks of sleepless nights. The whole place was still huge to me, I still got lost, like all the time. It was around 5:30 am, the morning still chilly and dreary. Tucking my hands into my jean pockets, I strolled past the many gardens that were dotted around Court, deciding to stop at a completely deserted area with expensive looking flowers.

These past couple of days, I'd had no space. I'd been around people all the time, sometimes having BFF time with Lissa, or sometimes just helping out. Now I was alone, just me, me and my feelings. Sure my life seemed great at the moment, and I was so thankful to have both Dimitri and Lissa back. Inside though, I was insecure. Guilt still followed me around like the devil, and sometimes it was like I could hear Viktor's voice mocking me in my head 'you're a bad, bad person Rose. I'm dead because of you, you killed me Rose.' A shiver ran through my body, and it was nothing to do with the gentle morning wind.

What was worse though, sometimes I heard a broken, completely lost whisper, 'I loved you so much Rose.' Adrian. I don't think I could ever forgive myself for what I did to him. From the very beginning, deep down, I knew it would always be Dimitri. It was so selfish of me… but sometimes; I couldn't help thinking about Adrian. Though I would never admit it, I missed him. God, I missed him so much. The last conversation we had weighed heavy on my shoulders.

I needed to fix things with Adrian, but nothing I could do or say would make up for the pain I was causing him, I knew that. He had never done anything wrong to me. He didn't deserve this. Every time we passed each other, we'd lock eyes for a brief second, and then he would look away, eyes filled with sorrow. I would look away, eyes filled with grief. He didn't speak to anyone anymore, not even Lissa.

The day was getting brighter, so I shook my head, as if to shake away the bad thoughts. "Get a grip Rose. You made your choice." I whispered to myself. (I often talk aloud to myself, so what?) It was true. I had made my bed, and now, I had to lay in it, whether I liked it or not.

On the way back to Dimitri's room, there were quite a few Moroi and Dhampirs running around on their daily routine. There was a feeling of change all over court since Lissa's coronation, and many people were having trouble accepting it. Mainly political bigots like Nathan Ivashkov. Adrian's dad, was dead set on his belief that Moroi should never be allowed to fight for themselves, and that the guardian age law (that Tatiana had stupidly decreed not long before she had died) was the right thing to do.

Thinking about the law, would Lissa be able to lift it? " 'Course she will, she's queen. She can do anything." Speaking out loud to myself again. When I reached Dimitri's room, I carefully opened the door, and snuck in, expecting him still to be in bed. After checking the bathroom, I realised he wasn't here. I jumped in the shower, enjoying the relaxing water streaming down my back.

I quickly blow dried my hair, and applied a little bronzer and gloss. Feeling more awake now, I left the room and headed for Lissa's room. (Which is totally gorgeous, may I just say.)

When I walked in, Christian was spread across the couch watching the discovery channel (dork,), whilst Lissa was sitting at a beautiful marble dressing table, combing her long blonde hair.

"Hey Rose," she said, keeping her focus on her hair.

"Hey."

I only then realised that Dimitri was sitting on a chair next to the window, an old western in his hands.

"Comrade! I didn't see you there." He looked up at me and smiled.

"Where did you go this morning? I was worried."

"Ah sorry, I went for a walk, I didn't want to wake you."

"Well you should have. Are you okay?" he was referring to last night.

"Yeah, im great," I shot him a reassuring grin, and jumped into his lap.

"So, what's on our list of things to do today Liss?" I said as she went to join Christian on the sofa.

"Well I have a free morning, so I thought we could all go grab some breakfast. I have a meeting with the council at 2, which will probably be very long and political, you're going to love it Rose." She winked.

"Old grumpy royals, can't wait." I said sarcastically.

"I'm going to visit Tasha."

I felt Dimitri tense up underneath me, and we all turned to look at Christian, but he ignored us, pretending to watch the TV. After a few awkward silent seconds, Lissa spoke gently to him.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I'm sure at the meeting today; we'll be filled in with her trial plans. Maybe it's best to visit after that."

"I'm not coming to the meeting. The only time I can see her is at two thirty, sorry Liss."

Lissa opened her mouth to argue, but shut it again and stood up.

"Well I'm going to have breakfast with Mia and Eddie. Come on Rose" the room was still tense, and I wanted to get the hell out of there. No way did I want to be in the middle of a Lissa-Christian argument. I slid of Dimitri's leg, and bent to give him a peck on the lips.

"I'll see you la-"

"No its ok, I want to go for a walk. On my own." Christian interrupted me. Okay, I know he had a lot on his plate, his aunt being a murderer and all, but that gave him no excuse to act like an asshole. So in true Rose fashion, I told him exactly what was running through my head.

"Look, we know it's not easy being you at the moment, and it not your fault. But some of us have been through a hell of a lot worse this past couple of months, but do you see me acting like a bitch? No. Do you see Dimitri acting like an ass? No. So get up of your sorry ass, and grow up." I looked round, Lissa had her head raised and her eyes closed with her hand on her forehead. Dimitri just stood their, looking ready to hold me back if I got to peed off. I almost chuckled at that. Almost.

Christian stood up, and met my eyes. "Well, I'm sorry my problems seem pathetic to you. We can't all be perfect like the legend Rose Hathaway." His voice was cold and flat. I started to say that he was in fact being totally pathetic, but he stormed out and slammed the door behind him.

"Oh my god. What. An. Asshole." Nobody said anything.

"What? Come on guys, he needed telling! Don't say you all weren't thinking the same thing."

"Well we might have been, but we weren't so forward about it. I was going to speak to him later, alone." She spoke quietly.

Dimitri agreed. "I agree it was a bit harsh."

I folded my arms and got defensive.

"So I'm the bad guy now. Figures." I started towards the door when Dimitri's hand closed around my arm.

"Roza, nobody's saying that. But maybe you should just be more considerate next time."

"Of course, I'll definitely do that." I smiled sweetly, but the sarcasm was practically dripping off my voice. They both sighed.

Lissa spoke, "Well, he needs some time to cool down, there's no point chasing after him and putting him in an even worse mood. We just carry on with our day. Dimitri, you too. Come eat with us, then you can go and find him if you wish." Wow. She sounded strong and authoritative. And slightly annoyed with me.

"Of course your majesty." Dimitri said politely. As we left the room, Lissa took the lead and Dimitri and me followed behind, hand in hand. He still felt all rigid beside me; I knew it was because of Christian's announcement that they would be paying Tasha a visit today. I couldn't blame Dimitri. I mean, the woman had killed the queen, and then set it up so all the evidence had pointed to me. If I ever got to see her again, I would love the chance to show her who she had messed with.

The morning past quickly. We all ate breakfast with Mia and Eddie, who definitely seemed to be acting like a little more than friends. I tried my best to ignore the fact that Adrian was sitting on the table diagonal to us, with a bottle of Jack in his hands, but I couldn't help my eyes trailing over to him every now and again. He still looked great, but I could tell he hadn't been sober in weeks. His hair was really messy, not the messy way he used to style it, just messy because he hadn't combed it for a while. He was dressed immaculately in designer jeans and an Armani jacket. He didn't look like my Adrian though. Because he's not your Adrian anymore, Rose. I thought to myself.

When we had finished, Dimitri went to look for Christian, whilst Lissa and me went to the Council Meeting Room. Well this was going to be so much fun. When we entered the room, I noticed that everyone else was already here and seated. Lissa gracefully sat at the head of the table. I went to stand at the back of the room with the rest of the guardians.

At first everyone carried on talking to each other, some having hushed arguments with their neighbour. Lissa coughed quietly once, and immediately she had the whole rooms attention. A few of the council members were looking at Lissa with icy stares, whilst others had huge grins on their faces.

"Firstly, thank you all for coming." She started. "I know that many of you have your doubts about me becoming Queen. I just want you all to know, that I will try my absolute hardest to be the best leader I possibly can. This is a big change for all of us, and many more changes are about to come. Some of you," she paused to look around. "Will not agree with my decisions, I am well aware of that. However, I do ask of you, that you all voice your opinions, because it is important that we do what is right for all of Moroi and Dhampirs across the globe. I have much to learn, and it is to my understanding that I will have a personal adviser."

Ariana Szelsky spoke up, "Yes your majesty. I myself have offered to be your personal adviser, if you will have me of course." Lissa grinned widely, and gave an appreciative nod.

"I would be very thankful for your help Ariana."

"We have several issues that need to be sorted today Your Majesty." I craned my neck so I could see who had spoken. It was Nathan Ivashkov. I knew Lissa disliked the guy as much as I did, but her warming smile didn't falter.

"Yes, I'm sure we do."

"Well I would like to start with the aging law." This cause a mini uproar around the table, but always calm, Lissa raised her hand and the chatter died down. "Please, continue."

"I realise that there are many opinions about what should be done. But whatever happens, some people are going to be unhappy. Both Moroi and Dhampir numbers are beginning to dwindle, so I believe, that the law should stay intact Your Majesty." There was a stunned silence.

Hell no. My fist clenched and I stood up straight. I was about to say something, when someone else spoke. A man, with an expensive hat on sat next to Nathan. I knew that voice well, that slow, husky voice. It made my heart jump, and my palms sweaty.

"I agree with my a Father." The guy in the hat, turned around with a cruel smirk on his face. I found myself looking right into the emerald eyes of Adrian Ivashkov. Well, this was about to get interesting.

Firstly, thanks for the reviews on the first chapter! I have decided to carry on with this story, and there will be weekly updates. I would love for your guys to share your opinions on the story, and also any ideas you might have! Keep on reading and reviewing, I really do appreciate it.


	3. That Damned Meeting

I was mad. Ok, mad was kind of an understatement. What. The. Hell. I was literally shaking with anger. Lissa met my eyes and shot me a look that clearly said, '_Please Rose, keep calm, don't do anything stupid._' To hell with that. Adrian was still looking straight at me, and I was ready to march right over there and smack that smirk clean off his pretty little face. I couldn't exactly do that though, I was on thin ice as it was, with everything that had happened. So instead, I walked over to stand beside Lissa.

"What the hell are you saying Adrian. You know as well as I do that the aging law is the dumbest thing ever." Okay, so that probably wasn't the wisest thing for me to have said in a room full of royals, but hey, I could have said worse.

"Why Rose, I was just stating my opinion." His eyes said another thing though. Revenge.

"Yes, my son as come to his senses and realised what is best. Not that it's any of your concern Rose." Nathan sneered.

"No, it isn't any of your concern little Dhampir, you're out of line. This is not your place, hop along." The use of his old nickname for me hit a nerve, making me even more frustrated.

Was he actually being serious? "It's Guardian Hathaway to you. To both of you." I said, my voice cold.

"Well, _Guardian Hathaway_." He spoke my name as if it was a disease. "I think you should go back to your place with the rest of the Guardians at the back of the room, don't you?"

"No I don't actually, _Lord Ivashkov_." I said his name equally as hateful. "You know what I think?" Lissa stiffened beside me. With or without the bond, she knew what would happen if someone seriously pissed me off. There would be a 'Rose Explosion,' as she liked to call it. And there was a volcano inside me, ready to erupt.

"I think, that you are an ass. The biggest ass ever. You and I both know, that you don't give a crap about politics; you just want revenge at me. There is no way I'm going to let you sit there, and jeopardise the future of _my_ race, because _you're_ being a selfish brat. We need to talk, now." I yelled. The room was silent, and everybody watched me with wide eyes. There were a couple of Guardians about to close in on me, but I held up my hand. "I'm going now, and Lord Ivashkov is going to come with."

I started to walk out the room, and glanced behind me to see if he was following. Naturally, he wasn't. "Adrian, I'm serious. Now."

He stood up slowly, but his stupid father just had to say something.

"This is a disgrace! She has no respect, she never will have! Adrian, do not go with her." Then he turned to a couple of Guardians behind of him. "Get her out of here." Ah crap. Just as I thought I was in serious trouble, (again) a strong, powerful voice spoke above the chaos.

"No. Leave my Guardian; she is perfectly right in what she is saying. This is an important matter. Adrian, go." Lissa declared. Adrian just stood and stared with a pained look on his face. I remembered then, no matter how furious I was with him, I deserved it.

"Adrian, now." Okay, that was scary, Lissa sounded seriously annoyed. The whole room held their breaths in, waiting to see what Adrian's reaction would be. To everyone's surprise, he walked calmly out of the room. I drew in a shaky breath, mouthed a '_thank you_' to Lissa, which she answered with a '_good luck_' and followed him.

He walked silently, and pulled a fag out of his pocket. He had stopped the smoking and the drinking whilst we were together, but since we broke up, he turned into an even worse version of his old self. It made my heart ache, to know that I had done this to him. He sat down on the nearest bench, and puffed on his cigarette, as if he didn't have a care in the world. I was about to take a seat beside him, but that probably wouldn't have been the best idea.

Pacing back and forth, I kept running my hands through my hair. Should I shout him? Hit him? I couldn't though. I'd hurt him way too much already. A lump rose in my throat, tears pooled in my eyes. I shouldn't feel so torn about this. I had made the choice, me. And I didn't regret it; I had made the right choice. I knew that. I think.

"Why, Adrian?" I asked.

"Now Rosemarie, lets think… maybe because I'm an evil creature. Maybe because I'm seriously concerned about the future of the Moroi." I raised an eyebrow at him. A couple of uneasy silent seconds passed, and suddenly he erupted. "Or maybe, it's because the woman I love slept with someone else, and she couldn't give a shit about anyone's feelings!"

"Adrian, that's not fair. You know I care about you."

"You care about me? Oh, that's obvious." He said sarcastically. I met his eyes squarely.

"Yes I care about you. I always will. You don't know how sorry I am for what I did to you. I did love you- I still do. I just…" I trailed off, stuck for the right words to say.

"You just love him more. Do you know how hard it is to watch the person you love, perfectly happy with somebody else?" His said through gritted teeth. Averting my eyes away from his, I softly shook my head.

"Well? DO YOU?" His shouted at me.

Whipping my head up, I spoke steadily, "No. No I don't. I can't imagine how hard it is for you. But I can't stand the thought of you hating me. Every time you look at me, I… I see the hatred in your eyes. And it's killing me Adrian. It's tearing me apart." My voice broke on that last sentence. He looked up at the sky as If searching for some unknown answer. Dropping his cigarette on the floor, he stood up.

"You know I could never hate you." His voice was barely a whisper. I felt one single tear escape and roll down my cheek. I shouldn't be crying over this. It wasn't fair for me to be the one crying, when it was my choices that had led us here. But I realised at that moment, that it was true what I had said. I did still love Adrian. It was also true what he had said. I loved Dimitri so much more. I couldn't stop a second tear, or the next one.

He took two quick steps and closed the distance between us. Reaching out a hand to cup my cheek, he wiped my tears away with his thumb. I leant into his warm hand; I'd missed his touch so much. I can't explain why I did what I did next.

My knees threatened to hold me up: I was shaking so badly. I let out a sob, and collapsed into Adrian's arms. His arms automatically closed around me, holding me tightly against him. I clung to him as we sank to the ground. I didn't even know why I was crying so hard… Well of course I did. I missed him. I missed him so much. I'm not sure how long we sat there on the cold gravel, rocking each other, crying together.

He whispered continuously in my ear, "It's ok. It's ok. It's ok." It wasn't though. Nothing was ever ok.

The bleeping of Adrian's phone pulled us out of our temporary bubble of sadness. I felt weird. Weird and humiliated. Not only because I had bawled like a baby, but also because Adrian had been the strong one, the one to comfort me. When we were together, I knew I was his crutch, but now… I wasn't so sure. Feeling utterly confused, I slowly stood up and regained my equilibrium. Adrian flipped up his phone, and read the text that had separated us, (I didn't know whether to be annoyed or relieved about that.) He furrowed his brow when he read the message and hastily stood up to meet my eyes.

"Look Rose-" he started to say when I cut him off.

"Adrian, it's fine. I'm really sorry for breaking down like that, I really don't know what got in to me." I said unconvincingly. "Must be my hormones, sucks being a girl you know." Trying to force a smile, but it didn't reach my eyes. I couldn't deal with the intensity between us at the moment, so I made a joke. Typical. To my surprise, Adrian didn't shoot me his usual sarcastic, one-sided smirk. His eyes looked sympathetic, and sad. So very sad.

"I need to go. We'll talk… soon. I promise. I have some things to tell you."

I started to say that that he should tell me now, but his back was already turned, and he was walking off in the opposite direction to where I was supposed to be.

* * *

><p>The meeting would surely be over by now. I wrapped my thin jacket around me, as the wind started to whip my hair around my face. I shivered, and walked to the Council Meeting Room. When I got there, it was empty. Huh. So Lissa hadn't waited for me. I suppose I couldn't expect her to wait for me though, her being Queen and all. She was probably off doing… Queenly stuff. God, I really was clueless. As if by magic, my phone vibrated in her jeans pocket.<p>

It was from Lissa, it read: '**In the drawing room, come to me.**'

I was more than happy to go to her; I didn't want to be alone in my head anymore. I really needed to find Dimitri soon as well, as much as I wish that little scene with Adrian had never happened, I promised myself that I would never keep another secret from Dimitri. All the way to the drawing room (which is a posh word for living room by the way. I hadn't know that until like, two days ago,) I considered what I was going to say to Dimitri. Was I going to tell him that I had cried in Adrian's arms? Probably, he would understand. Was I going to tell him that I had told Adrian that I still loved him? Hell no.

The drawing room is very OTT. Seriously, was it necessary to have such humongous chandeliers, and very expensive drapes, in a room where Lissa and her friends would only chill and watch TV? I didn't think so. Lissa seemed to fit right in though; with the simple, yet complementary pale blue dress she was wearing today. Sleeveless of course.

When I walked in, she was bent over a book, in a whole different world by the looks of it. .

"I would put my life on it that you are reading 'Romeo and Juliet' or 'Midsummer Nights Dream," Lissa had some kind of obsession with the classics, especially Shakespeare. I've never understood, or cared about, classic books.

She raised her eyebrows and smirked at me, holding up the book to show me she was in fact reading 'Eclipse' by Stephanie Meyer. Oh the irony.

"Be careful what you put your life on Rose."

"Guess I'm dead then. Why are you reading that Liss, seriously. I mean, what's happened in the past hour that has caused you to go over to the dark side?" I joked.

"You don't want to know, trust me."

Oh crap, the whole meeting thing. I cursed myself mentally for forgetting about that.

"Tell me everything."

"Well there's not much to tell really. After you and Adrian left, the whole thing was a lot calmer, I have a meeting with Ariana on Wednesday. She's going to advise me on some things. Mostly it was like an introductory meeting, everyone was clueing me in on their opinions. And before you ask, No, I haven't been able to lift the aging law. Yet. I'm nearly there though; I just have to sway a few more members of the council. And if some remain stubborn, then I'll just have to go ahead without them."

"Huh." I replied intelligently. "Not gonna lie, I'm kinda glad I sat that one out. Some of those pain-in-the-ass royals need some good sense knocked into them. I'd be happy to do it."

"You can't threaten to hit everyone who doesn't agree with us." She sighed.

"The hell I cant. What about_ her_ trial?" I asked bitterly.

"Next Friday. Her lawyer is saying he's pretty sure she'll plead not guilty. I'm just worried that I'll have to make the final decision." She admitted.

"Your Queen Liss, and this is really serious. She_ killed_ Tatiana. _She framed me_. No offence, but she kinda deserves to rot in hell." Normally I would think that was a bit harsh of me, but if I had the chance to knock this woman's head off, I'd do it, and walk away without looking back. _And I wouldn't regret it_. Of course I'd never tell anyone this, I'd sound a bit to homicidal.

"She's also Christian's only family." She whispered.

I didn't know what to say to that. What could I say? It doesn't matter? She needs to be punished? I didn't say that though, because if it were Dimitri's close family, I'd never do that to him. I realised what kind of position Lissa was in. I started to think that being Queen and Head Guardian wasn't going to be as cool as I'd originally thought.

That night, I lay in my bed, physically and emotionally exhausted. I longed to rest my head on Dimitri's chest and inhale the sexy scent of his body, but he was going to be out late tonight with a friend, (It sounds horrible, but I was surprised he had a friend.) I was struggling to get my mind to calm down. I kept replaying the scene with Adrian, and assessing my future. Eventually I drifted off into blissful nothingness. For about five minutes. I was happily at the park with Dimitri (in my dream,) when I felt a pull. I was reluctant to leave my somewhat perfect dream, but the tug became so strong, I couldn't stop it. I felt the familiar golden glow settle around me, and was hurled straight into a spirit dream.

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><p><strong>Hey guys! I was a bit stuck on how to write this chapter, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway. Let me know what you think.<strong>


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